Word Dreamers

Stone Cold Cold Stone

2011-02-23T12:24:00.002+08:00

REM has just finished working on our advertisement for a Cold Stone competition. Thanks to Ezekiel for the reference and Josiah for the acting. We're far from done though as we move on to a second advertisement for the same company. I'm also going to need a good microphone for future shoots so I'm going out of the way today and spending some big cash to get one. If you see me on the streets, you can try to rob me. If you succeed, you can buy yourself some nice stuff!

Ramblings

2010-03-23T00:42:00.002+08:00

The one thing good about my blog is that I can get things off my chest. But in that is also its weakness. I don't need people telling me 'I feel your pain' cause you don't. I don't need anyone saying 'I'll be your pillar' cause you won't. That's why, I find that it sucks to be me sometimes. When I look at others, I envy them. To simply put it, they are simple. Their worries in life dials down to the next day and they can go through everyday, enjoying and complaining about the most trivial things.

I'm self analytical, that's the problem. I won't humble myself down by saying otherwise. I'm smart, hopeful and have the ability to do things I want to. But at the same time, lazy, unfocused and basically scared of what I know is coming for me. In my mind, I see myself, twenty years later, still fat and pathetic. I wake up in bed, alone and drags myself to the same laptop I'm using now and begin racking my brains for chapter one of a novel that will never see the light of day. Unemployment also comes to my mind.

Now, during the most uneventful part of the holidays, I go to bed with a mind rattled with thoughts. And I realized just how alone I am. Growing up, I was virtually alone. My family was just a circus of fake smiles and my mother was hardly ever home. I never denied I had a deprived childhood because that's not all that far from the truth. Watching television to kill time and exploring that large mansion I called home, climbing onto rooftops and watching the cloud go by, these were how most of my childhood days were spent. Even when I'm taken to the park I was alone. Riding down the hills at top speed only to go up and down again. Even while in childcare I would be found by myself during nap time. Wandering the corridors and eavesdropping on the conversation held by the adults. Yes, my childhood was lonely, I can't describe it as anything else.

Now that I think about it, I'm scared. When I lie in my bed at night, all alone with the rattling sound of a malfunctioning fan, it dawns on me just how close I was to going back to that dreadful life. It is the first time since a long while, when I've truly felt such unyielding fear. I'd scream my lungs out into the walls of the room only to have them bounce right back to me and this pressure keeps building up within me, telling me I'm alone, unloved, and that would be how you'll stay until the day you die. Even though I had accepted that possibility, I still find myself, kicking and screaming and pulling my hair out as I laid in the dark confines of my room. The silence and the lack of warmth drove me insane.

I've never been hugged, or kissed, not even a light peck on the cheeks. I can't remember ever crying into someone's shoulder or even when was it I last held hands with a person who cared. I don't recall ever going and leaving school with a friend or the slightest inkling of being noticed throughout my primary school life. I do however remember being punched and kicked. I remember the cold steel pole running down my back as I was being tied to the netball post. I remember hiding in the small corner of my room, holding back my tears as I watched my drunk father scolding my mother with my sister as a baby, crying in the corner. I remember how while in my father's car alone, I was told of my step family. Two news only came after I entered primary school. I was told that my nanny, who had cared for me and my sister so much was not on vacation, but was fired by my father. I was then informed of that my great grandmother, who had cradled me when I was a kid had not gone to Malaysia but had passed on. Those were not things a seven year old should be hearing.

After that, my dad switched my school and I had to leave behind my friends. From there on, I had to endure through four years of emotional hell. I could endure the beatings., the constant dragging through the mud every recess and even the cruel names used on me. I learned the word 'fuck' when I was nine. The worst part was, until Primary 5, I was thrown aside in everything. I had no teachers who supported me. The principal never believe a word I said. My father would scold me, be it right or wrong. Somewhere along that line, I think I cracked. Sure, if you look at it now, my life is great. Friends, family, they're all there. But, I remember just how easily that thread cut be cut, and I'm afraid. I put a distance to everyone I know cause I'm afraid that if I ever have to go back to the God forsaken place again, I'll be hurt so bad I'll die crying.

But the biggest thing on my mind, as with anyone my age is finding a girl. What am I suppose to feel here? I don't know. I've never had that feeling being pushed on me or out from me before. I don't know what I'm suppose to do. Is it really all that it's cracked up to be? Will this person really stay by your side under all storms? It sounds nice. But...do I deserve it? Do I even know how to give it?

Argh! This rambling is getting me nowhere. I'm going out for a run!

H@(K3D

2010-03-17T23:33:00.012+08:00

I'm fine with the occasional grammatical and spelling mistakes. I can even tolerate to a certain point the incomprehensible acronyms used. However, when people who have the time to get a level 80 paladin or play Farmville non-stop can't even bother to attempt to write proper English because they are lazy, or can't do it even if I put in the effort to write to them all proper, that's where I draw the line. Thus, I have written a letter to all you bums out there to decipher and to teach you something. For those who actually takes their time to at least spellcheck and are reading my blog for pure amusement or insight to my life, you may, try to decipher the message and have a good laugh. Due to blog coding limitations involving spacings, you may copy and paste the letter onto your notepad application to better read it.

D3@R J@CK@5535,

Y0U5 MU5+ B3 W0ND3R1N9 W+Y TH3 H377 1'M TYP1NG L1K3 TH15 R1GH+ N0W R1GH+? W377, 5331NG TH@+ 1 R3FU53D T0 DUMB D0WN MY C0MM@ND OF TH€ 3NG715H L@NGU@G3 +0 5U1+ Y0UR H@LF A55 N33D5, JU5+ L1K€ H0W M05+ 0F Y0U R3FU$3D +0 WR1+E B3++3R F0R TH3 S@K3 0F HUM@N1+Y, 1 D3C1D3D +H3 B3$T W@Y +0 9E+ Y0U GUY5 T0 TYP3 1N PR0P3R 3N9715H 15 +0 M@K3 Y0U F337 WH@+ 1 F337 13Y WR1+1N9 1N H@(K. Y35, I (@N WR1+E H@(K. N0W, U]\[L355 Y0U KN0\/\/ H0W +0 R3@D 0R WR1+3 H@(K, WH@+ Y0U'R3 F3371N9 R19+H N0W \/\/0U7D B3 H0W 1 F€€7 WH3N 1 R3@D Y0UR S0 (@773D 3N9715]-[. 5U(K5 R19H+?

W1+H 70V3,
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Flashes

2010-01-29T22:58:00.004+08:00

As a child, my father had high hopes for me in following his footsteps. And truth to be told, I nearly did. Somewhere along the way however, he made a mistake. Something that shook me awake from reality and into a dream. From that day on, life was different, changed. I began to watch, to listen, to feel and the world started to develop infront of me. Three years of seclusion and learning to listen and to see before speaking. I changed.

However, things came to a head a year and a half ago. I could still remember, that day on the hilltop where the wind could not reach. Where I gathered, faced with a battle I had not intended to fight. That corny speech he gave before the fall of the hammer, oh I remembered that too. For a moment there, I nearly swore to myself I'd rip his head off for saying those things. Words which at that time, I was sure he did not understand. Honor, friendship, loyalty. Bullshit. He fought not for those, but pride. He's different now though. No longer the same. Changed. And for him, I hope it's for the better. The last time I saw him, his eyes were different and his aura was calm. So different.

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. ~Ben Sweetland

Still, the truth was, on that day roughly one year and sixth months ago, he was me. Or at least, everything I could have been. Proud, determined, smart, handsome, and sporty, everything my father wanted me to be. My polar opposite. I don't know about others but watching my mirror image before me was more frightening than anything I've ever faced. Looking back now I don't think I was fighting merely to ease the girl's suffering. And definitely not to help my friend with his troubles. I think I went to that hill, with full knowledge of the possible punishments and consequences of my actions, so that I could see this perfect persona of me at his fullest.

I remembered thinking, We were so similar. Fighting on our emotions and doing anything to keep our beliefs. As he threw the first punch, I realized how easy it was to beat him into a bloody pulp, as I had done with others on occasions long ago. Than the names Leon, Cedric and Dominic flowed into my mind and an emotion that was oh-so familiar filled my heart. Hatred. In that single cumulative moment, without me knowing it, I had won. Even though I had to endure the constant beating, I did not fight back. I took on every hit without fighting back and upon further pondering now, it seemed that it ended with me being the bigger man, or so to speak.

The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization. ~Sigmund Freud

When I was in primary school, I was told that all skills could do good. Didn't really make sense to me until recently. I was told by a teacher that my greatest ability was my uncanny skills to manipulate people. Back then, I thought that meant I was a sneaky conniving bastard who pulled people as puppets. On that day however, it become clear to me it was something more. Mood and emotions, they were my strength. Having conquered them as a child, I find myself able to change the mood of a situation just by playing a part. As I left the hilltop with mocking laughter at my back, I knew that even though I bested him as a man, the situation would continue to worsen. So what did I do? The only thing I could. I went back, and fought again. I laughed through the whole episode. For some reason, the mood lifted. As if pure laughter and light heartedness changed their views, even in the heat of a fight.

He'll always try to be the hero, even though he's not. That was what my teacher said about me. Personally, I would have prefered if she had just called me an idiot and expelled me. Hero. I've grown a disliking of that word when used on me. Be it a wannabe or for real, I don't think I ever want to be a hero. So the whole ordeal was over, and things quietened down for awhile. At what price though I wondered. She blamed herself for what happened, and he continued with his possesive nature. Things only came to a full stop when my teacher stepped in and the entire drama was finally over. Sadly though, the damage was already done.

The hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by. The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light. ~Felix Adler

Broken hearts and torn friendship was hard to mend. And once again, in an attempt to douse the flames, I threw away another chance at happiness. You didn't need a heart, you needed a hand. It takes 37 muscles to frown, 22 to smile. But only 4 for proper trigger pull. It wasn't the first time that death had so warmly opened its arms in welcome of my eternal slumber. But it was a first for me for I had been on death's door, knocking with a blade on my wrist. Cold steel. Tempting. Didn't do it.

I didn't asked for much. Just a smile. A simple smile would have sufficed to all the thanks that was given. A single punch would have been easier to handle than a frown. I watched from afar, a silent guardian, fallen angel and rejected devil. Grey. A smile, that was all I wanted you to have. But I wasn't able to give it. A dream, that was the happiness I held for a fraction of a second. Yes, the answer to a question which I was never able to ask. To be more precise, didn't allow myself to ask. Memories, the only things remaining, from a time where dreams were true. But such is the outcome of walking my chosen path, a road where the light and darkness of neither twilight nor dawn could touch.

True, I could have chosen the path everyone has taken. But what then? I would just become another one of them, a clone to an endless army of who someone wants you to be. No, even if the cost is pain and suffering, my road is as clear as it has ever been - which of course, is shrouded in grey. For it is my path to open, and my fog to wade into. The scene behind the mist will be shown clear when I have accomplished what I had set out to do and who I had left behind and became.

Rant One: Family

2009-10-15T22:27:00.003+08:00

Note: After reading a letter posted online, I am now inspired to write down all my frustrations in rants on my blog for the world to see, laugh and critique. Enjoy.

Dear family, you are all idiots.

Younger sister who has poor time management, Shower more. You may not know this but wearing your school uniform from morning till the second you sleep is disgusting. Considering the hygiene level of some of Singapore's educational facilities, I am shocked you did not just jump straight into the tub the moment you reach home. Also, your permanent PMS mood, though interesting, is highly retarded. Not to mention that most of the things you blame/scold/hate people for, are your fault. Scolding someone for repeating a question is okay. However, it is not fine to scold them for repeating when you did not reply the first time round.

Elder sister with mentality of an eight year old, Grow up. The world does not revolve around you so stop trying to make it so. It is not mature to say you're not going out with your family because you A) have important work (facebook) to do or B) was not told prior to the event even though we specifically reminded you of and C) you have a busy schedule. The manager of a company has a busy schedule. A school teacher has a busy schedule. Yet for some reason, these people still manage to make time for their families. A volunteer worker like yourself who can choose when to work and when not to and spends most of your time at home, does not have a busy schedule.

Older cousin who I suspect has hair cancer. You talk too much. I am not your girlfriend so don't touch/talk to/treat me as one. Stop caressing my arm when you get home and stop using that homosexual voice while speaking to me. I have ears and thus, it is not required to make physical contact with me every time you wish to speak with me. I have a name for a reason. Also, you use 'hair care products' as if you're trying to create the ultimate pizza on your head. Please try to stop. It is disturbing and to a certain degree, grotesque. Your pillow has become hard as a rock and the fur on your CJ7 soft toy now resembles that of a lion's mane after going through a thunderstorm. That's saying something.

Dad, you stink, literally. You reek of alcohol even though you drink little which leads me to suspect you shower less. You annoy me to no end but treating me as if I'm four. I'm seventeen. I speak better English and am a fanfiction writer. Do not try to show off your command of the language to me. It does not help my already dysfunctional impression of you. Also, I am not gay. Slapping my ass in public is not cool. When I am doing actual work on my computer like writing and school projects, I do not understand how you could arrive at the conclusion that I have been playing computer games for the past three hours. Lastly, I go out three days a week and I stay at home for the remainder. How you are able to utter sentences such as 'you should go out more' and 'why are you always going out?' on the same day is beyond me.

Dear mother, I respect you. I love you. But I cannot stand the fact that you treat everyday life like a business. Personally, I have never met anyone who is able to spend half an hour talking about how we're going about laundry duty. Neither do I see the need to split the duty between you, my cousin and my sister in the order of wash, dry, iron. At the same time, leaving the duty of cleaning the house to me, the one guy who is rarely at home, considering the hours in which I return from school. I am seventeen. Little sis ain't so little anymore and my cousin is in his late twenties. It is laundry. Stuff shirt in machine, hang shirt, wear. It's that simple. And we do not change clothes like we drink water that we require laundry duty to be carried out once every two days. The only thing missing from our last family 'talk' was a official contract. With that, I am quite certain that we could set up a decently profitable cleaning agency.

Deteoration

2009-09-23T03:47:00.002+08:00

No matter how I try to look at it, my physical and mental condition seems to have been on the downhill lately. I'm experiencing insomnia like I've never before. It's 3:46a.m. now and I'm tired as crap. Yet, my eyes refuse to close. Not only that, I've been having vivid dreams lately that I can only guratee would lead me to more day time Deja Vu experiences to mess with my already damaged mind. Before I continue, there's this quote I found from an unknown author which I found quite funny. Yet at the same time meanigful. A little something to chew on.

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anyone could have. ~Author Unknown

Physically I'm getter weaker and I find myself stumbling left and right and unable to balance at certain moments in time. Not to mention my body has been slow in responding. I barely made it through sword class last Saturday. No focus, nuts. Got hit so many times I've lost count and it took alot out of me to actually concentrate during the only sparring match I won. I still can't properly place a finger on what's happening but I hope it's just a passing fits. There's still so much I want to do and if something terrible were to befall me before I could acomplish them, I'd be quite devastated.

When people say to me: "How do you do so many things?" I often answer them, without meaning to be cruel: "How do you do so little?" It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don't. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever. ~Philip Adams

Aside from my failing health, it has also come to my attention that the human race has also been deteorating at a rate far more alarming than I initially have thought. A friend of mine introduced me to some weight loss program shit which I promptly refused, saying that I'd rather do it the 'old fashion way'. Her reply shocked me when she asked what the old fashion way was. I thought it was quite obvious. Excercise people! How many of you Singaporeans out there have forgotten about this? Have we humans become so dependent on stupid things like health products, accupuncture and therepy that we forgot how to walk with out own two legs? When she replied "That will take so long isn't?", I nearly cried in shame to call myself a teen of this current age. I find hard work rewarding and if one day I was to lose weight, it would be out of my own will. Not from some pills. The phrase 'Beauty is only skin deep' is already a sinking ship.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. ~T.S. Eliot

Moving on, later in the conversation, she asked me just how much weight I intend to lose using the 'old fashion way'. I replied, 'Everything I don't want.' Which again came across me as obviously every single ounce of weight I don't want to have on my body. Her last two replies came in a form of the English language which took me a few good seconds to decipher. This prompted me to reread the messages she has sent me thus far. I realized that every messages was written in Singlish. That wasn't so bad. Even I write in Singlish sometimes. But the one thing that really made me sad was that even the Singlish words were mispelled. Reading though the past 50 of my messages, the ones written in Singlish were equally demorallizing. Our command of the language (any language) has truly fallen and become a complete mish-mash of internet jargon and modern day slangs.

It is easier to go down a hill than up, but the view is best from the top. ~Arnold Bennett

I'm not asking for perfection. But at least putting some heart into the things we do can't be that bad right? Like maybe checking once through your messages to make sure they aren't crap or actually working for the things you want isn't so hard issit? Not all, but many of us have forgotten the satisfaction of hard work. The happiness that comes with the happiness of other. All these traits can be seen in every little action one makes and truthfully, I've been seeing very little of them lately. Lessons that our forefathers have thaught us since ages past so we not make the same mistakes are being forgotten. After all, those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it; those who fail to learn history correctly; why, they are simply doomed.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. ~Les Brown

There's one more quote I found. Meaningul to the core it is. I may forget the phrase and the words and maybe even the person who said it. But the thing it's trying to convey would forever be part of me.

When I was a Boy Scout, we played a game when new Scouts joined the troop. We lined up chairs in a pattern, creating an obstacle course through which the new Scouts, blindfolded, were supposed to maneuver. The Scoutmaster gave them a few moments to study the pattern before our adventure began. But as soon as the victims were blindfolded, the rest of us quietly removed the chairs. I think life is like this game. Perhaps we spend our lives avoiding obstacles we have created for ourselves and in reality exist only in our minds. We're afraid to apply for that job, take violin lessons, learn a foreign language, call an old friend, write our Congressman - whatever it is that we would really like to do but don't because of personal obstacles. Don't avoid any chairs until you run smack into one. And if you do, at least you'll have a place to sit down. ~Pierce Vincent Eckhart

Threads

2009-07-12T03:29:00.002+08:00

Do you know that there are currently over six billion people on this Earth and counting? And that everyone of us are connected in ways so refined that even the strongest lens in the world can never see?

That's what I believe in. My elder sister said something to me today that made me want to retort but explaining my beliefs to her would have been too much of a chore. I cannot comprehend people who puts everything they have on a single being whom they are not connected to by any means other than by that few instances or people. I want to place MY faith in that thread that connects the six billion of us on this planet.

Why do I place my thrust in ordinary people and not those of stronger force some may ask. My answer is 'The Eiffel Tower". The tower as many people already know is a global icon of France and one of the most magnificent man-made structure on Earth. It is built by hundreds of interconnecting girders alone and have stood for over one hundred years through wind, rain and snow. Now think of the girders as humans and we are all connected. And when we work together, we can last for a hundred years. How strong is that? Very. Another fact why the Eiffel Tower, for me at least, stands for the interconnection for humanity. It was used as a radio transmitter. That's right, radio. If that doesn't symbolise something, than I don't know what does.

One of the most feared and strongest man also fell to the Eiffel Tower and that would be Adolf Hitler. He conquered Paris but failed to climb to the top of the tower to hang the flag. The most powerful man of that time failed to conquer this structure of unity. That's saying something.

Fate

2009-06-27T00:37:00.002+08:00

"Fate rarely calls upon us at a time of our choosing." ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

We're all put on this planet for a reason. God is testing us, that's what they say. So tell me, if we're all being tested so that we can be prepared for our destiny, what am I being prepared for? Failure? I've never been able to gain anything that is my own. Trophies? What trophies? Awards? I have none. Skills? Nope, nothing that can be considered as real talent. Only talent that I have is well, dreaming. Not useful really. What's in it for my future I wonder? I don't know. Don't really care. No longer my problem.

Slow

2009-06-23T22:14:00.003+08:00

I miss secondary school life. Seriously. I have no intention or wish to go back in time or anything but I'm just, saying, it was nice back then. Why? Well, I'm gonna say it's because I'm always moving there. I can't remember a time when I stop. There's always things to do, people to meet and activities to be had. We dread going to school every morning, but we always stayed until everyone has left. Do anyone of you remember those times? I do. I never had to move so fast that all I saw was blur or so slow that a snail could pass me by. No, I breezed through the greatest four years of my life, walking. Now, I head off to school dreading another day doing the same thing over and over again. And I'd die just to go home. I miss the times when we'd just walk together, chatting away about stuff so trivial that no one man would turn his head in curiosity. The world is just coming to a halt. The end will come if men continues to stop. "Walking gets the feet moving, the blood moving, the mind moving. And movement is life" Said Carrie Latet. And life on Earth is ending as we know it for we forgot the true meaning of movement. We sit behind our computer screens and desk everyday, communicating through devices to convey one sentence that would have otherwise required us to move our hands to write out an essay.

Walking takes longer... than any other known form of locomotion except crawling. Thus it stretches time and prolongs life. Life is already too short to waste on speed. ~Edward Abbey, "Walking"

As from the aforementioned sentence, why do we humans still continue to speed pass our life? Moving so fast that we shoved seconds worth of enjoyment into one minute and we are unable to enjoy the world as we could have while slowed.

And for those who knows I practive Parkour, you might ask that I'm actually contradicting myself, saying we should all slow down when I'm learning to move fast. Well, my answer is this.

Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. ~Soren Kierkegaard

Too much problem, too little time. Moving is my only cure and I have to run from it for if I walk, my pain and sadness and all the badness will catch up to me.

Ticking

2009-05-24T23:16:00.002+08:00

I wonder how long we have left. The world spin and moves on as sure as the rising sun of everyday. For every tick of the clock, a second of my life is washed away. So sometimes I wonder, do I still have time to do what I want to do? I want to go Japan and watch the cherry blossom bloom as the final snow of winter falls. I want to ride a motorbike and feel what it's like to really move. I want to sail the ocean on a big ship like, but not one of those modern kind either but those from the past where sails were still one with the wind and not on display in the museum. I want to publish my stories too. And I also want to know what it's like, to be able to lie down on a field of grass facing a clear blue sky, surrounded by friends who have been through heaven and hell with me. And of course, the feeling of what it's like to have that void filled with things of memories for which I can look back on and still smile if I ever get caught and thrown into the false tale of eternal happiness.

Two quotes today, just because they're good.

Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can't buy more hours. Scientists can't invent new minutes. And you can't save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow. ~Denis Waitely

The Present is a Point just passed. ~David Russell

Lifelong

2009-05-18T21:52:00.003+08:00

I don't know why but I've been feeling really down lately. It's like everything in my world is collapsing from the inside out. But everything is going fine for me is it not? I've made so many new friends and my academic grades have never been higher.

So why do I feel so lonely? So insignificant? So...normal? Have I been thrust into the spotlight so much that normal has become something long gone? Loneliness have become my partner for life it seems. Cause loneliness is what I've been feeling these days. I wonder why is that? I really do wonder why...

Still

2009-05-03T01:22:00.002+08:00

Yesterday (2nd May), morning. Woke up.

Afternoon, went to the beach with Sandy, Brandon and Ashley.

After that, dinner at home. Mom cooked my favourite dish.

Evening, watched episode 1-4 of Heroes, Volume 4.

10:31a.m. My grandfather died.

A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist. ~Stewart Alsop

So yes, I am sad now. The whole thing got me thinking bout lots of things. Like how short our life really is. Just the other day, I witnessed a car crash. Luckily, no one got injured or killed. Still, I do have a tingle in my heart that I can never see my grandfather again. Mostly, I'm angry that I can't remember much about him except for his face and that the thing that caused him so much agony in his final years was ciggarettes.

I have not seen my entire family from my dad's side gather like this in two years. How much things have changed. I remember way back when when my granddad would always go feed the fishes in the pond and I'd always tag along. And how he was taller or things like the chair in his old room that I like so much.

Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder; but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night. ~Marion Howard

At first, when they let me into the room with his body, I was reluctant. When they showed me his face, I took it in quick that he seemed so peaceful as if he was sleeping. It was not until later when I came back in to offer a joss stick that I got a good look at his blanket covered body. No movement, at all. No rythmic rise of the breathing chess or the stretching movement of joints. He was really dead. And that's when everything hit me. I realized how little I remember of him, even though we lived under the same roof for over fifteen years.

Filled with a mixture of emotion, I went back home. Angry at my sister who could smile like nothing happened. Hated myself for remembering so little. Happy that my grandfather can pass on so peacefully. Sad that I'll never see him again at least, not until I join them all if I ever get the chance. Until then, I'll have to live on for the memories of all those who can't.

Life begin and ends with a single heartbeat. So while we still have the chance, lets make every moment of enjoying life begin with one as well. And when the beating stops, it is time to enjoy a good nights rest until we are reborn into the morning sun. -Ng Jun Xiang

Rejecting

2009-04-26T09:49:00.002+08:00

Wonderful times it was. While I was floating in that salty sea water yesterday, eyes on the sky and with my friends just chatting away on the shore, it felt like that was all so natural for us. How I wished it would last forever. At least, that's what went through my mind for a split second. Then I remembered why it should never last forever, no matter how much I want it. New memories have been made and as long as eternity doesn't catch up, more great times will continue flowing in. And one day, I'll run to a point where eternity can't touch me and that's when my story will finally come to a close.

Do not keep on with a mockery of friendship after the substance is gone - but part, while you can part friends. Bury the carcass of friendship: it is not worth embalming. ~William Hazlitt

Here we go

2009-04-19T23:36:00.002+08:00

Back to school it is. Amazing how time flies. Even more amazing is how hypocritical us humans can be. For the past six months, all I've been complaining was about how boring it has been and how I can't wait for school to start. Now that it has actually happen, I can't wait for it to end. And I haven't even went for my first lesson yet!

Bright side, I can made new friends. Grey side, all my new friends are as weird as my old one. Bad side, I have to start from scratch all over again. Oh well, at least now I have a Nintendo DS by my side.

One Hour

2009-03-28T21:47:00.002+08:00

They're right, one single hour changes nothing. It won't save anything. So I'm gonna take it personally into my own hands. With this post, I'm sending out an ivitation to anyone out there who is willing to have Earth Hour, everyday. 8:30-9:30 p.m. I'm sadden to say that some people who have so called took part in Earth Hour merely just draw their curtains to make it look like they've been a part. And even though more than 70% of Singapore's resident have taken it upon themselves to turn of their lights, I can still see no stars and the streets are as bright as they've ever been. So I'm sending this out to make a statement. Pass it on to anyone who would listen.

Everyday an hour. No matter who or where you are, Earth Hour, everyday. One hour a day, 8:30-9:30 p.m. We all have the power to change the world if only you have the courage to take the first step.

Earth Hour

2009-03-25T02:17:00.005+08:00

Here's a post for the Earth Hour event three days away. I've just found out that the World Scout Movement have taken part in it and I am very happy about that even though I'm no longer considered an active Scout.

Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.~Alan M. Eddison

Anyway, Earth Hour is well, an hour when we all make a statement about global warming by shutting down all our light and if possible, electrical appliances. This is to tell the world that we are taking a stand against global warming ya. So wherever you are, 8:30 - 9:30 p.m. at whichever country you live in, turn off your lights and support the Earth. Vote Earth.

The world spents so much time and money developing useless weapons of mass destruction even though the Earth is already being wasted by the process of making them.~Ng Jun Xiang

Remember,

Earth is in your hands.

Don't blow it - good planets are hard to find. ~Quoted in Time

The Road Ahead

2009-03-18T00:44:00.003+08:00

So yeah, how long has it been since I last posted here? Nothing more to say I guess. My life have gotten to the point where I am literally living through things I've already experienced. Everything is like a De Javu now.

Going back to the basics, I am again, on my own. Everyone has left for bigger and better things and I'm still here deciding which fork to take. I can't remember the last time I've made contact with the world outside this small cramp room of mine and it's starting to feel like shit to be reliving the same thing over and over again. I wake up, I on my computer, I shower, play some games, write some stories and then go to bed with the occasional meals in between.

Yeah, that's my current life for you. On the bright side, this total boredness has given me plenty of time to think and I've really come to a lot of conclusions in life. Just still wish I knew what to do next though.

Cold Grey Rain

2009-02-24T19:03:00.002+08:00

In light there is darkness.

And in darkness there is light.

Then there is the shade of grey. Morning and night can't beat the days of rain. Where the light of the surrounding is obscured by the glistening of the droplets of water.

The world is cold, so I wear black. The world is cold so I put my hands in my pockets. And in this shades of grey, me in my black and white walk alone. Until someone crosses my path, or until I cross theirs, I'll go at it solo.

The Date in Between the Stars

2009-02-19T00:09:00.002+08:00

I didn't remember. No suprise there. They say it's a special date, that it only come once a year. Fucking woopy. It's the only day where I've cried every single year. It's the only day where every single year, it gets messed up by my own family members.

It does get better. Bit by bit that is. I remember when I first moved to this new apartment, that was the year when my father completely forgets my this day. I had a normal day. A few well wishes here and there but that's it. I was happy, but later that night, I still ended up crying. Kinda pathetic one might say, a guy my age crying like that. But then, it takes a real man to cry openly, I guess.

Not sure if I will actually get through the day without shedding tear but, it is starting out pretty well. At least, well enough. Even though I forgot this day, someone else remembered which comes pretty much as a shocker to me. Didn't actually expect anyone to remember. I'm not sure if I'm happy that someone actually remembered, or sad that only one person did.

Guess I can't ask for too much. But then again, I didn't ask for anything in return in the first place.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

Ok find, I just put that quote because I like it. Here's the real quote of the post. It doesn't suit the post but it sure as hell suits the date.

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw

2012

2009-02-10T21:27:00.002+08:00

I wonder if the world would really end then as part of some devine pre-destined plot to judge all of humanity. Well personally, I don't give two shit. I'm not gonna just let the world end all nilly-willy. Easier said than done I suppose. Oh well, guess we'll just have to wait until then.

Still Going Strong

2009-01-07T01:01:00.002+08:00

With all the hussle and bussle of life, I'm starting to get confused of who I am. Not the first time though. I don't even know why I even bother writing a blog. Maybe because I can't bother myself with writing a diary. I strayed from my path a while back and it took me so long to notice. Maybe it's time I get that break from life I've always looked forward too...nah!

Life's fun, it's also short. Live to the fullest, hold no regrets, or hard feelings. Just keep moving on. Just keep walking, keep running. We are who we are. No matter how far life takes us, we will always be ourselves. Why am I even saying this, I do not know. Guess I just feel like it.

In the past two months, many people have told me, that if they could turn back time, they would like to change all the bad things that happen to them. Changing streams, getting into fights, losing a game, being born and stuff like that. For me, if I could turn back time, I would change......
...
...
...
hm...
nothing I guess.

Sure there's been hard times, sure there are things that could have gone better or could have not happened at all, but, I wouldn't change all the good and bad things for the world. It made me who I am today, made me strong. I found friends who'll stick by me because of those hard paths I walk. I don't think I'll ever find such great friends if I had taken the easy way out all those years ago. I'm glad I suffered. It made me stronger. Those pain thought me how to appreciate life and those years of holding out those beatings taught me how to never let anyone touch my soul.

I can think clearly because I can bare pain. I thank pain and suffering and loneliness. Because of them, I can appreciate joy, togetherness and the hearts of people.

Life goes on.

"I'll live for those who died that day. Even if I turn back time, it can never take away the pain." -Shirou Emiya, Fate/Stay Night

Bittersweet New Year

2009-01-01T03:20:00.004+08:00

Can't say it was one of the greatest party I've ever attended. But then again, I've never attended any parties that didn't leave me feeling like the biggest shit on Earth. The day started off fine. Arcade was fun, movie was fun, lan was fun but that's where it end. Some uninvited guest spoiled the party but it was still cool then. Though almost every one of them was late, we manage to make it to Marina Bay. We got seperated into two groups. One which wanted peace and quiet, and the other, which were just to damn ass lazy to move to a better place to sit. Countdown to New Year, fun. Until then, it was the best party of my life.

But once the clock hits midnight, everything was flushed. The sky was too smoke-filled to see any of the fireworks and I got seperated from the guys while watching the ships fire their flares. I went looking for them, not wanting to leave without telling them where I was headed or just let them worry. Send them each a message but Starhub was jammed so only 3 of the 4 got through. I thought it was enough so I waited at the place where I stated I'll be at, swinging that stupid torchlight in hope it will get their attention. It was not only until much, much later did I get a message saying that they've already left and told me to make my way home myself. No apology, no explanation, nothing. Just that. It wasn't the first time but hell, it really stung.

The shuttle bus was cramped and I didn't exactly felt like stuffing myself in confined space with strangers so I walked. And that's how I started my New Year. Alone, angry, sad and lost. On that one hour walk there, I thought about lots of things. About that guy who was always pushed to do his best and did it but always complained how bad his life is, not knowing the person he's telling it to had it worst. The guy who was so physically skilled and well financed but manage to earned friends through no means of money. The guy who have a great goal with no destination yet working so hard to achieve what he wants. The guy who got caught smoking but was still a nice guy at heart. The guy who always hit me as a sign to tell me that we're friends and still has his heart good. The guy who is always slower than everyone else but still at the same time, much smarter. The guy who we all tease for being large but still holds on to his moral. The guy who we don't see much of but is always there. The guy who is part of us and wants to be but can't always be. The guy who devotes himself to his friends as much as his beliefs.

The girl who I've known since young who has grown into a great woman who looks forward to the future. The girl who I just met who is the exact opposite and can never let go of her regret and lives in the past. The boy I've been friends with for six years and is finally moving on to the greater things he deserve. The girl I've known since P5 who once said we were on the same boat even though she had it tougher just to make me happy. The girl who I met by chance and had a hard life but always smile.

Then there's those four who I never met again since that day of graduation from kindergarten in 1996. The boy who was so athletic and taught me how to cartwheel. The boy so smart that checked our work for us everyday. The boy so strong that can even lift a four years old me over his head. And then there's that boy, who called himself Jun Xiang, who had a dream to do good but ended up failing and crashing back down to Earth.

I hated them, each and every single one of them to the core for leaving me behind when I just manage to stand. But I hate myself even more. For holding them back, making them suffer, holding on so tight that they can't carry on their lives. I hated myself because I am capable of hating others. And as I neared the station in my long walk, I weighed the option of dissapearing again. Forgotten by all in my past except for those who wishes for me to stay. And I cried. I didn't know where I was going. Where I'll end up at. Turns out, the last train left. No cabs, no bus, no way home.

My parents were overseas and took awhile before I tried calling my stepmom which worked. While waiting, I got another chance to think about everything I've ever experienced, everything that have ever happened. And when I arrive home at 3.30am, the result from my three hours soul search came to one thing, there was still no answer.

"To find yourself, you must first get lost." -Ng Jun Xiang

Update

2008-12-31T01:53:00.002+08:00

Kay, here's some update on my life before the New Year.

1) Didn't even spend a cent on presents during Christmas which makes me feel kinda bad. But definitely not as bad as shopping. Hate shopping. I don't shop for more than an hour a year.

2)Sister is nagging and being bitchy about everything even though she's not exactly Miss Perfect herself. She's too spoiled. Wonder if it's my fault?

3) Too many people complaining about stupid things which are just to self-centered and superficial to gather any attention from me so I'm gonna be shutting these complains out of my head.

4) New Years coming and I'm not sure if I'm ecstatic or depressed.

5) New Year Resolution:
-Finish Lost Regalia, 139, Dawn of Odyssey and By the Sea
-Practice Parkour more often.
-Studies. Eh... nope, nothing yet. Get RE5 and save enough money for a DS or PSP.
-Get first date (optional)
-Get dump (also optional)
-Get laid (again, optional but much prefered)
-Become a nice asshole. How is this done you ask? Well, I don't really know.
-*GET A JOB!!!*

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;He who makes one is a fool.~F.M. Knowles

Note to self: Find more quotes and get rid of the resolution list before I become a follish weakling.

Insomnia

2008-12-17T01:35:00.002+08:00

Sitting here in front of my Acer Aspire laptop at 1:40 am, insomnia has taken its full toll on me and sleep has been long forgotten. I've been spending these past few sleepless nights with a good book. Namely, Odd Thomas. Occasionally, I would work on 139 or Lost Regalia but either way, both activities tires me to no end.

It occurs to me just how much energy it requires for me to fully utilize my talent of imagination, one of the two talents that I will agree that I have. The other being a basic copyist. As realistic as the images produced in my heads are, the temporal joy it gives also have side effects in which I experience overly crappy insomnia with equally overly crappy tiredness. In short, fucked up nights.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. ~Charles Caleb Colton

The Thing About Heroes

2008-12-03T00:04:00.003+08:00

Never in my life have I ever spent so much time thinking. A few days ago, a certain good friend of mine told me something which I can't seem to get out of my mind. "You are the hero." She said. Aren't heroes suppose to feel all heroic and proud and junk? I'm not feeling that at all. Mostly, I'm disspointed with myself. I've done nothing that falls under the category of being a hero. Neither good nor bad. I've caused pain, sadness and a heap load of misery. Yet created joy, friendships and tones of laughter.

What defines a hero of good? Saving lives? Putting out fire? Stopping a mugging? Or simpler things like cleaning the whiteboard? Fessing up? Write a story? What about a bad hero? Mass killing? Armed robbery? Kidnapping? Or just plain littering? Maybe vandalism? How about giving someone a good licking?

"You are the hero." She said. I should be happy. I have done something to be recognized as a hero in someone's eyes. But I'm not. I'm bloody pissed at myself. And I don't know why. Pisses me off as hell because someone called me a hero. Pisses me off as well when someone calls me a villian. Why, I sure as hell don't know shit.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. ~Marvin Kitman

NPC

2008-11-26T21:24:00.002+08:00

I totally forgot. I know it's a little late but go Triace NPC team. Bring home some glory or something.

Still Here

2008-11-26T00:51:00.002+08:00

For everytime someone leaves this life of mine, I can't seem to forget them. No matter how long time has past, a part of me still thinks of them. "I'll see them again." I always tell myself, all I have to do is run faster and I'll catch up. Just keep on running on that road and I'll soon catch up.

So when was it that on that road, I took a different turn from everyone else? And when was it that turning back became impossible? Since when did I started chasing something that isn't there? Maybe, it was from the moment I started to run.

From the moment I ran, I knew there was no turning back. From the moment I ran, my footsteps already echoed differently from everyone else's. From the moment I ran, I was already chasing something I can never catch up to.

While everyone is waiting and celebrating at the end of the line, I'm still here. Chasing. My path is lined with foot prints. What I left for others to remember me by. And at each fork, I'll choose my path based on the experience I've gain from the people I've met. One day, I'll see them again. I'll meet them all again at the finish line.

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see. ~John Burroughs

Beginning's End

2008-11-14T00:12:00.002+08:00

O' Levels are over and the papers are blown away with the wind, just like our secondary school life, becoming nothing but memories. Some will move on, some will stay, but in the end, it'll not be the same. This is one of the many hurdle in the race called life. If you fall, the only thing one can do is to get back up again and finish the race. For all the Sec 4 graduates out there, don't be afraid to dream for there is always hope. And don't be afraid to hope for the dream you always have. No matter where you are, just remember, you won't always be there.

"Great men does great things in a way only other great men understands. A common man who does great things however, will do it in a way all men can relate." -Eca Rend

Stories of a Broken Clover

2008-10-26T00:19:00.003+08:00

Past midnight. I should be asleep. And I was about to, until I broke a clover. Not a real clover, nor issit one of the Seven Clover some of you may know. But a fake one, a Crystal Puzzle bought at Popular for $15. It meant nothing to me until now. And though I'll properbly throw it away in the future or give it to someone else, the things this broken puzzle showed me will stay.

"There are at least two kinds of cowards. One kind always lives with himself, afraid to face the world. The other kind lives with the world, afraid to face himself." -Roscoe Snowden

I was greatly affected by the puzzle as it lays in pieces on the ground. It reminded me so much of myself. How complicated life can be, and how fragile it is at the same time. 42 pieces, 2 broken. Nothing a little super glue can't fix. But still, the sight of a broken puzzle disturbed me and I set out, collecting the pieces to fix it again.

"If one have never shed no tears, one have never been beautiful." -Feathers Nirvana

Apart, it is a pile of mess. No form, no nothing. Just a pile of scattered acrylics wannabe crystals. But together, they form a clover. Like how pieces of ones life gives a person shape, pieces of memories. The stem isbroken. A hollow shell without a soul. Reminds me of how I am to others. They see the cover of the book but never the story within. A cover page picturing joy and happiness, may have a story of sadness and anguish. Similarly, a picture brimming with life may have a thousand pages unwritten.

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." -From the television show, 'The Wonder Years'

But the stem meant something else. It was broken. But the rest wasn't. Why is that? If someone hates another, does that mean they are sinners and are thus worthy to endure hell and punishment beyond all? But don't they know, that the hated makes them who they are today? I don't think that's right. You can't smite evil if the evil is you.

"Hatred is the fear of forgiving. Hated is the fear of not being forgiven." -Neo Deskett

There are no difference between good and evil. No diffrence between sinners and saints. For evil, evil is good and for sinners, the sinners are saints. A person who accepts one but rejects the other makes no sense to me. They are hypocrites who are unable to cross the sea surrounds their world and see for themselves the line between good and evil in the world of others.

"This is how humans are: we question all our beliefs, except for the ones we really believe, and those we never think to question." ~Orson Scott Card

For saying these things, I may be called a hypocrite myself. But I don't think I am one. If anyone else can tell, nothing I've said above should make any sense whatsoever. But it does doesn't it? But how can senseless have sense? A contradiction then? Then a contradiction I shall be.

"The only time you're perfect, is when you're not. Since you won't be you if you're perfect. You'd be God." -Adam Law

Remember the past, live in the present and change for the future. It took a broken clover to renew my believe in nothing so I can believe everything.

De-Stress

2008-10-23T23:16:00.003+08:00

With half of the A Math, Science and Humanities paper down, I realise one thing. I'm as good as screwed. No matter how much I studied, I still end up blanking out during the actual thing. Even though I know I can do the questions in front of me, when it comes to it, I can't. I still have hope left though for hope is the only thing that is forever there, no matter how little it is. I have to do well for the other halves of the paper or my dreams of going into JC is as good as dashed. I am not repeating another year, no matter how good it seems. I will not be left behind again. Never again, will I go back to that shitty place. I'll conquer my fears during the paper and I'll push through. If I don't, well, then I don't know what I'll do.

"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you." -John De Paola

Graduated

2008-10-12T13:13:00.004+08:00

Graduated from school but not from life. Procrastination is taking hold of me even in this do or die situation. That's why this post is late. And that's why I haven't picked up my books yet over the past two days even though I know I really have to. I have a friend right now who seems to be in some real big battle with the inner self. Seems to me like the person is stuck in the well where I once was. All my friends, give me some strenght to do for this friend what you guys did for me. I'll be jumping back into the well to save the one left behind soon. But before all the crazy self indulged heroic acts of stupidity, here's some pictures from graduation, the rest are on my friendster.

Last class photo (darn Adrain)!

From front to back, me, Benjamin and Akmal (This photo was taken by pure accident).

Nina only. (She ask me change.)
After school in the canteen Chun Kiat, Anthony and Keith (left to right).

After lunch at the park, left to right. Valentina, Malar and Yu Ting.

Views

2008-10-08T22:53:00.002+08:00

Seems to me many people believe I'll make a very poor teacher. But its something I want to do. And I get very little things that I WANT to do. I haven't even achieved yet but people are already judging me. I can change. I've always changed. And I'll change again, to achieve my dreams, I'll do it again and again.

Things that's been happening

2008-10-06T20:48:00.002+08:00

First off, let me thanks Marks Ong's mom, Aunty Marilyn for those O'Level Motivational Packs she gave so many of us today. I was kinda surprised I got one too since I've only met her a couple of time. I'm drinking the chicken soup for the soul as I type this right now.

Secondly, graduation ceremony. Why the fook is the graduation ceremony held BEFORE we graduate? Is it like to tell us, "Since you've graduated, you'd better not come back next year!"? If so, that's some stupid unneeded pressure.

Lastly, prom. What the hell is 'Shine'? Gold teeth and blings and shiny disco balls or something?Hell, I'm just gonna wear a tux. Hell, I might just wear shirt and jeans.

Heroes

2008-10-04T11:42:00.002+08:00

Death and glory
in all this stories.
And heroes are born
with all their torns.
The light cast shadows
on the meadows
will you go
to show the work of heroes?

Now what?

2008-09-22T23:05:00.002+08:00

The year is coming to an end and the start of the unknown is about to come. Having been thrown in the chaos of secondary school life and lived to tell the tale, I find life now more meaningful. I have a dream, something which I never thought a person of my statue could ever hope to have. I have a talent of creation through the art of writing, a talent which I never even thought of before. I have made friends in the most unlikely of situation, have lost friends, regain them and even deepen bonds with most of them. But even with all this new discoveries and strength to guide me, it all boils down to the same thing that have been clouding my mind for so long.

"Now what?"

I have absolutely no idea what to do next, what my next step should be. Having thrown caution to the wind and taken a blind leap of faith, I see a shining utopia at the end of the journey, but the road there, covered by sandstorms of fate seems bare.

I'll make the best of this opportunity I'm given, I'll keep running, chasing that childish dream for it is all I've ever know how to.

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough." -Albert Einstein

Dreams

2008-09-19T00:59:00.002+08:00

Why I want to become a teacher? Why I want to be a writer as well? Why must it be English?

Well, one, because English is something I find interesting. How we can play with the words, make them become more than just some scribbling. Bring them to life and give them form. Technically, all languages can do that but I'm better at English.

And being a writer will do that for me. The border between dreams and reality have always been thin on my side and the view from here has always been great. Writing stories is a way for me to share my thoughts and view of this beautiful world with everybody.

Last but not least, the reason for me wanting to be a teacher is simple. Dreams. I want to give others a dream to look to. Give the hopeless hope. Be proud of others achievement and not my own for I've never been able to appreciate efforts which are mine.

My dreams are hard to achieve, some say it's childish. But I'll run, and I'll catch up to them one day.

Something New

2008-09-14T16:31:00.002+08:00

Today, I Aden, learned that mustard, even though it's yellow and if you put it beside melted cheese you can't tell the difference, IS NOT MADE FROM CHEESE!

Untitled

2008-09-09T18:17:00.000+08:00

Cross my mind is suicide
But my place lies not that side
So I chose to keep my rights
Above my place in paradise

Endless Wave

2008-09-02T19:20:00.003+08:00

I don't think the whole having a circle of friends thing apply to me. I asked Loh the other day. If my friends hate my other friends, but they're all cool with me, can they really be counted as a circle of friends? He told me jokingly that what I must have is a wave of them. A never ending up-down wave. That's my life for you. I still hope I can end this year with a circle though. Even if that means me giving my life up, so be it. At least, they won't be fighting no more.

The Wanderer of Borders

2008-08-25T20:32:00.002+08:00

There was never anything in it for me. I stood there on the border, looking as life on both ends pass by me. I kept my neutrality for as long as I can until without a doubt I must join the side which I deemed worthy and true. Not a god, but just following what I believe. I know no good or evil, no hatred or kindness, darkness or light or even right and wrong. I follow the thin line in between to see and watch over all the happenings and not.

I'll watch as those who were born in light travel into darkness and those born in darkness travel into light.

Wanderer by -Aden Ng

2008-08-22T22:46:00.004+08:00

Broken body,
shattered soul.
Wandering spirits,
walk alone.
A gentle touch,
a warm breeze.
Savor the moment,
and let me see.
Make ammendments,
walk the light.
Hold your tire,
take the fight.
Say the truth
walk the right.
Hold your fire,
Darkness might.
Sheathe your swords
and live the lie.
Human beings,
heart so true.
Yet some dirtied,
not so blue.
Bravery and friendship,
hatred and terror.
The wanderer of borders,
will see them through.

Toss of a Coin

2008-08-22T15:23:00.002+08:00

I made a choice then, not sure right or wrong. I made a choice to stand my ground. So why were they there? Those who had nothing to do with it was there. My choice, my fault, my burden, they shouldn't be blamed, shouldn't be punished. But they were. I cried. But crying won't solve anything so I stopped. I steeled my soul, determine not to lose that smile. Not to make others sad. Wanted to bear everything so they won't have to. I must have dropped something on my way here for everything came crashing down. Then, those who had nothing to do with it got caught in the crash. Some got out, some didn't. I know how to feel remorse and regret. I know how to feel shame and pity. I just don't show it much. I wanted to carry a pile off my back and reveal the way out but I couldn't. But knowing them, they wouldn't leave me even if I begged them to. Now, like a fork in the road and a toss of a coin, I can't tell what will happen next.

"I want to be able to laugh with everyone at graduation." -Rookies, Mikoshiba Toru

My Horoscope

2008-08-17T19:15:00.000+08:00

Pisces
Your element: Water
Your ruling planets: Neptune
Symbol: The Fish
Your stone: Bloodstone
Life Pursuit: To avoid feeling alone and instead feel connected to others and the world at large
Vibration: Erratic Energy levels
Pisces Secret Desire: To live their dreams and turn fantasies into realities.
Description:Mysterious and alluring individuals, most Pisces are extremely talented, but even though they are gifted in many ways, they still manage to spend most of their lives battling "confusing" conditions. Pisces is the sign symbolised by the image of two fish. Their symbol depicts one fish heading upward, the other pulling downward. This mirrors how Pisceans are frequently torn between two pathways in life, or actually do live two very different existences at the same time.
The number 2, is a very powerful number for them. This zodiac sign is acknowledged as being the Saint and the Sinner rolled into one; the trendsetter of fashion or art, the lost soul, the philosopher and the psychotic and the visionary. As a credit to them, considering their many vulnerable characteristics; Pisceans are incredibly adaptable and resilient. They are to be found leading the field in many diverse areas of life and many Pisces can be found represented amongst top business millionaires. On the other side of the coin, prisons, reform schools and all kinds of institutions statistically hold a high number of Pisceans too.
The Piscean's inner quest to explore their "ivory tower" syndrome can lead them into some most unusual and unlikely living conditions. Of all the signs of the zodiac, Pisces are the ones who end up in the most muddles over the years of their lives. They fantasize about situations, people and particularly romance - and because they spend so much time in their own form of 'fantasy land' this can catch them short in other more worldly areas. Because of this inner world of fantasy, Pisces people seldom perceive whatever is going on around them in its true light. They see life instead as they want to see it, coloring their view of the world in hues and tones far removed from its true reflection. No wonder this is the sign of both miracles and disillusionment. If you are a Pisces, be warned your emotions are a weak spot.
One thing that plays havoc with your life is romance. When things romantically are going well for you, you are on cloud nine. When romance turns sour you land in a heap. Pisces often need to take lots of holidays (or time off) to recover from life's many diverse pressures. You are the zodiac's most sensitive sign, so you need to take extra special care of yourself. Nobody can beat you up, as much as you can beat yourself up within your own mind. In your purest form you are psychic, visionary and a guiding light to all who know you. But, in your "out of tune" state, you become depressed, obsessive and confused.

Aquarius
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Uranus
Symbol: The Water Bearer
Your stone: Amethyst
Life Pursuit: To understand life's mysteries
Vibration: High frequency
Aquarian's Secret Desire: To be unique and original
Description:Special note for Aquarians: With the new Millennium heralding the Dawn of the Age of Aquarius, at this time, ready or not, your sign is regarded as the zodiac's leader. You are the trendsetter for the future and because of this high responsibility, many under born your sign will be undergoing at this time, as we approach the Millennium, the pressure of personal change (particularly in your values and what makes you content and happy). Yours has always been a philanthropic sign. Now more than ever these qualities will be highlighted.
Those born under the sign of Aquarius not only march to a different drummer, they make up new music as they go along. They are 'mind oriented' individuals, whose thoughts never stop tick-tocking over. Because of their high focus on intellectual exploration, many inventors, eccentrics and highly original trailblazers are born under this sign. Their intense ability to live on many mental levels, holds both pain and pleasure for Aquarians. For example, in the American Hall of Fame there are more Aquarians than any other sign, yet statistics reveal that in mental institutions there are more Aquarians than any other sign too. Many extremes can surround this sign and these extremes can take them to both heaven and hell.
But in everyday terms, most Aquarians are extremely humanitarian and often involved in social programs that assist others. They can also be objective in judgement, for they never let their emotions get in the way. Outgoing and amiable, Aquarians attract friends wherever they go and those whom Aquarians befriend have their unswerving loyalty.
Aquarians are the zodiac's most mysterious and unusual people - and no two are anything alike. Those born under this sign - ruled by innovative and non-conformist Uranus - march to the beat of their own drum. They see life in a different way. Others quite frequently think their habits and ideas are eccentric or crazy in some way, but it is this uniqueness that makes them so special. The Aquarian mind is extremely quick and they never seem to stop thinking (it is interesting to note that many born under this sign suffer from insomnia.) Aquarians usually have strong political, environmental or social beliefs. But whether it is a relationship, career or cause - Aquarians are happiest when they have "something" to believe in and nurture.

Deadline

2008-08-15T18:57:00.004+08:00

Officer: Cadet! Report!

Me: Situation crappy sir! Artifact has faced unexpected problems on the way sir!

Officer: What about the journal?

Me: It is being rushed sir! Unable to determine how much of it is left sir!

Officer: When is the deadline!?

Me: Six days from now sir!

Officer: Can we reach objective by then?

Me: Unable to determine sir!

Officer: What is needed to reach objective?

Me: Cash, time and lots of luck sir!

Officer: You're screwed.

Me: I know sir!

And that's pretty much what's been happening to me for the past few weeks. Been running around trying to finish up the last bit on my D&T coursework which I am really starting to doubt will be finished on time.

A picture may have a thousand words...

2008-07-23T20:27:00.002+08:00

but a story has much more than that.

And that is the true meaning of the phrase "Never judge a book by it's cover".

Kiseki

2008-07-12T23:12:00.002+08:00

With a new skin, I thought I might get a new song as well. It's called Kiseki by GReeeeN, a four membered J-Group. It's also the theme song for a J-Drama show called Rookies which is way better than half of the Hong Kong drama which has been a sort of trends here nowadays. You guys can get it here at
www.d-addicts.com.

There's english subs done by my friend Justin and his group. The group is called timeles subs, please support.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, Kiseki means miracle.

End

2008-07-09T19:57:00.002+08:00

Never wanted it in the first place. But I came to enjoy it. Trivial things, simple things, endless laughter stemming from the root of it all. The things I shouldn't have, the things I don't deserve, I'm giving it all back. I've enjoyed it, I really did. Being able to have friends and sharing those times, for a moment, I forgot who I was. The enigma not to be opened, to be locked away in solitude. This life, not my own, belongs to those who doesn't exist. After spending the past three and a half years outside the well, this frog is going home.

The Good, the Bad and the Completely Weird

2008-07-06T23:22:00.002+08:00

Ok, a few things happened to me today. Number One, the good, is when I went over to my relative house for dinner. We stayed longer than expected and since I was bored, I went downstairs to practice PK. I'm so glad I brought my glove. I found some skater and bladers and such doing their thing and I watched them for a while before getting started. Around half an hour into my run, the blader came to me after I breakfall. His name is Stephen.

Stephen: Hey, are you practicing Parkour?

Me: Yeah.

Stephen: How long have you been doing this?

Me: Around six months, I'm not that good.

Stephen: I've been on it for four years.

He reaches out his hand and I shook it.

Stephen: I'm Stephen.

Me: Aden.

We let go.

Stephen: Well, good luck.

And he skate away.

It makes me realise that everytime I get seriously into something, like scouting, writing and tracing, it opens up a whole new path for me which makes me meet many different people. It's really kinda cool.

And the second thing, which is the bad, is that I started playing video games and couldn't stop...again. Will be getting back to writing and studying now.

Third and last thing is the weird. I got a call like at 11pm and it was from a private number. I thought it was my dad so I answered.

Me: Hello?

Then the voice opposite was like so not my dad. It was like some high pitch female voice which totally creeped me out. It when, "Yes."

Me: Umm...

And before I could say "Do I know you?" She said,

"I saw your number on the bus-" and at that point, I hang up.

Number on the bus could only mean one thing, people desperate for sex or for a fight. How it got there, I have no idea. Maybe someone wrote theirs wrongly or someone who really hates me did it. Either way, lets hope no one else finds that.

Still...

2008-06-28T23:19:00.003+08:00

Scouts is screwing themselves up, my friends are screwing themselves up, teachers are screwing me up and the whole thing is screwing my mind up.

So, why the hell am I still trying? Trying to patch up my friends relationships, helping them to have their dreams come through, making sure the future the scouts doesn't go into dirt and all the while, I'm killing myself off. When I do these things, I get nothing in return and I might lose everything I've ever wanted and have. But then again, I guess I don't deserve this happiness. After all, my laughter was never my own. It was given to me by the people I care about. A person like me, one without a laughter of his own should do only one thing. Help others gain back their smile.

I can't remember the date, nor the place. Just that single moment when I looked up into the sky. And then, I saw it. That smile, so gentle, so peaceful, yet, it hides so much turmoil, sadness and confusion. I can't help but smile, because when I do that, that smile becomes true. A real smile out of happiness. She smiled so I can smile. I smiled so she could too. When she's sad, it makes me sad. And I'll force out a smile, as true as it can be so she can smile again. I smile so others can, I laugh for others to laugh as well. I cry alone so others don't have to.

But it was at that time when I realized something. The only person I myself can make happy when I smile is her and only her. So I decided to create a lie. A lie which became the truth. A True Facade. And the more people I make happy, the further away from the truth I become. And in the end, I became a lie. My name is no longer my own and I am never alone. But I needed this, this strange ability so others could smile, so I kept it. Seven truth made from lies, that's who I am.

"Writer's like us tells the truth with lies." -Nicholas Kent

Wondering

2008-06-26T21:52:00.002+08:00

So, I was thinking, "Just what the hell am I doing?"

I'm so selfless to the point I'm selfish. I deprive myself of everything I've ever wanted just so others can have them. I've been like this for a long time and so it doesn't really bother me since I have nothing much that I want.

Now, I found something I want, something I need. A fully selfish thought for myself and no others. Maybe because I've always been giving aways what I have that I forgot how to keep them or maybe it's just because I'm a god damned redneck. Again, for someone elses happiness, I gave it away, I gave away another bit of my own happiness. But I can't walk away this time for some reason. It's not like last time where when the deed is done, I walk away. This time, I can't. I'm feeling conflicted with this choice. It's not the first time this have happened but it is a first where I walk away from this situation before it left me. But I'm still trying to walk away. Because I know someone else deserve this happiness more than me. And this piece of happiness deserve someone better than the likes of me.

So in the end,

this is my life.

No resolution.

No meaning.

No destination.

No starting.

No hope.

No happiness.

Just a mask that hides...

A truth that was once a lie. I'm a Joker.

The perfection I can never achieve. I'm the King.

The joyful eternal sadness. The Third to come.

Suppressed uncontrolable anger. Jack of the trade.

Calmness not befitting of me. Luckiest Seven.

A hatred that goes unfullfilled. Imperfect Ten.

And...

the reality which faded into fiction. The forgotten Ace.

They exist because I couldn't. I exist so they could too.

Out of Place- By Aden Ng

2008-06-21T22:42:00.003+08:00

Out of Place

I look at you and saw everything
I've ever wanted to see.
But it turn out to only be a mask
of lies and mysteries.
So will you be telling me the truth
behind this fantasy?
Or do I have to run away
and jump right into the sea?

I'll never understand,
why everything can't fall in place.
I've never seen the end,
when everything starts to breakaway.

Chorus
So go away with me
into the endless sun set,
and sail away with me
to the ends of the world.

I turn around and I saw you running
right in front of me.
Right into the car of someone who looks
way better than me.
I took a step and left my pride behind
in my empty seat.
I was willing to give up everything
for you to be happy.

I'll never understand,
why I always feel so out of place.
I can never see the end,
that leads out of this empty place.

Chorus
So go away with me
into the endless sun set,
and sail away with me
to the ends of the world.

Take a step,
left turn,
right into the alley.
Another step,
right turn,
out onto the beach.

As I look up to the sunset,
I can't help but feel out of place.
So I locked myself in a closet,
but you come to pull me out anyway.

Chorus x2
So go away with me
into the endless sun set,
and sail away with me
to the ends of the world.

Remembrance

2008-06-18T22:04:00.002+08:00

I was just sitting around, and thinking. just, thinking. And suddenly, for no particular reason, I remembered why I joint Scouts. I mean, truly remembered.

That day, me, Cheng Hong, Mark Leong, Benjamin, Malcolm and Kah Yong were just walking around, looking at all the booths when I saw something that stood out above all the others. A six meters tall hour-glass tower. I was afraid to climb up it at first then next thing I know, Cheng Hong and Mark was dragging me by the heel. It wasn't long before Hon Ding talked me up the tower.

I remember, first step...

Boy, this is scary...

Second step, I looked up at the sky...

God, it's so clear...

Third step, I moved my hands up...

I wonder if I can touch it...

And before I knew it, I wasn't even looking at the ground no more. Just the sky, climbing, one step at a time. It was all so surreal and when I reached the top, I was so high up my heart skipped a beat just from the view.

I guessed, when I saw what they did, it just promted me to join. They worked together to reach the sky, how cool is that.

I've always felt something about the sky. It's always there and it stands for what I believe in, what I love about this world and much more.

What's going through my mind nowadays

2008-06-05T01:01:00.001+08:00

I've noticed how strange my life is. In the eyes of other people, I seem to have many friends. But in truth, how many of them are actually people I hang with? Very few. Am I isolating myself? I guess in a sub-consious way, I am.

I'm always drifting, never really settling down anywhere. I'll go, "Hey, maybe I'll eat recess with them today!" or "Hmm...maybe I should eat with those guys today instead." But I guess, in a way, I like it like that. I like this world like that. Not an eternity of living your happiest time over and over again, but eternal change, living through different degrees of happiness and sadness everyday. I like it this way. The same thing never happens twice. Maybe you get lock in class one day and get locked in again the next. But it's never the same. Maybe the second day the whiteboard is dirtier than the first, maybe there's a missing table or the rows and columms are slanted.

You know, one day I would like it if we could all just go somewhere nice together, all of us. Just relax and enjoy our time together. That wouldn't be so bad now would it?

I understand now. For the past three and a half years, the happiest time of my life past by me. I always said I didn't want it to end. Now, I understand. I want it to end. So I can move on, to see the change that have been made. I'm afraid of eternity. It never changes. I'm afraid of it now. Maybe that's why I've always seek to push myself away from those who are eternal. Cause they can never change. No longer do I fear death, but I still fear what comes after. The concept of eternity is a scary thought. I don't fear change anymore. I'll keep changing, so I will never be eternal.

"People do not fear death itself, but rather, what comes after. That is because they fear change. But overcome that fear, and you overcome those who are eternal." -Clover's Ace

Off Track

2008-05-29T22:21:00.002+08:00

Can't seem to concentrate on... well, everything. Everytime I try to do something, I just can't put any effort. I need a jumpstart for my brain. Can someone PLEASE REVIEW MY FANFICS! Reviews always help me, just knowing someone is reading makes me want to work harder.

Me

2008-05-27T22:33:00.002+08:00

Yeah, time for some quality time. A little about myself :)

-I'm called Bender online because I like to do things that were never meant to be done. Like, bend the rules and all that. I got it when I took down a level twenty monster when I was only level eight on some MMORPG which name I forgot(back then, my online name was sonien333). Some dude who came to kill that monster was all shock and said, "you're bending the rules of MMORPG you rule bender." and the name stuck. Haha.

-I have very very short attention span, but I guess you guys already know that.

-I hate ants.

-The animal that best describe me is the Flying Fish or scientifically known as Exocoetidae :P

-I am not gay.

Gasp*
No way!
Seriously?!

-Yeah, seriously.

Training

2008-05-25T00:42:00.002+08:00

Urban Extreme Training

Date: Wednesday 28th May 2008
Location: Carpark
Time to Meet: 2pm

I GOT IT!

2008-05-18T22:10:00.001+08:00

I got it! By god I got it! Haha, I'm gonna make that puny little shithead eat her words. AH HAHAHAHAHAHA HEH HEH HEH cough* cough* blah (vomits)...

Stay

2008-05-17T12:41:00.002+08:00

I'm done man, no more. Those bastards finally won. If I had to go through that again, I may just kill myself. I'm too tired to carry on. From today on, I'll have nothing to do with Scouts no more. What Pang YY said yesterday was too much. She crossed the line with that and I didn't do anything. I didn't want to, not in front of all the Sec1s. This is my parting gift, one final lecture to all of Triace who reads this blog.

No more trouble guys, just get along. I've tried, I really did. But you're all so stubborn. Always complaining, never listening, always running, never chasing.

Leaders, keep it up, stay strong and don't give up. Loh will be there to help you. If there's any problem, tell him. Don't keep it in. He's got experience and alot of them at that.

Sec2s, please support them. Stop slacking off and start taking things seriously.

Sec1s, just get along. The leaders really cares about you. You should see them when you're not around, always worrying about what will happen to you, what will happen to the troop. It's screwing their minds. The teachers aren't helping, complaining about it to everyone you can isn't helping. Let them have their rest, please.

It's been real. Growing with you guys, laughing, playing, fighting, crying, learning with you all, getting all banged up and shit. But I'm not welcomed to go back to that family again. So, good luck and good life.

"That journey of countless miles, laughter and tears will end with a single step." -N.J.X

Done

2008-05-15T18:16:00.002+08:00

God this sucks man. My mid-year score is so shitty. I've got to work harder, even though I'm already sooooo tired.

Commision

2008-05-10T23:46:00.002+08:00

Looking to commision people to draw anime characters for me.

Requirements;

-Must be someone I know. (I don't trust strangers)
-Art must be of decent quality.
-Have experience in drawing mulitple DIFFERENT character. (Most people can only draw one. I don't know why, I'm no artist.)

Payment (this is my budget);

-will be paid in cash
-No G.S.T charge :P
-$5-10 per character, depending on quality of work.
-$2 for simple background and $5 for complicated ones.

P.S: This is not me drawing for people, this is me finding people to draw for me. DO NOT BE AN IDIOT!

Trouble

2008-05-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

You guys sure know how to get me all worried. Seriously.

Sec4s, stop being asses. I owned Gabriel Wee at chinese chess. That is all.

Sec 3s, you guys ain't ready to take on bigger power. The teachers are seriously screwing things up and I think you know that. Wait, rephrase, I KNOW you know that. You gotta tell me what's going on so I can help man.

Sec2s, give some support to those dudes and dudettes I just mentions, you're all slacking off. Don't make me come back for a meeting all you'll all get it.

Sec1s, we get it, you think you're tough. Well woopee for you. Stop giving the sec3s problems or you'll be facing me, as in the serious me. Death, doom and all that. Girls, yes, you have gang fights before, got it. Attempted suicide before, got it. All big gangsters, got it. A little news, all you've been doing, are baby stuff. Seriously. You think I never got into a fight? Try 30 fights. Think I never attempted suicide? Try doing it 2 times. You think I ain't a gangster before? Try being one for 4 years. Think I never got into gang fights before? Try getting into 7. Cry for two hours? That is REAL long (sarcasm). Try 6 god damn fucking years than tell me about long. Think you guys hold you're anger for very long as well? Try 9 fucking years then tell me about it.

Keep up all your actions, go ahead. I support all of you 100%. I've been itching to take off the Joker's facade and draw out the Ace of the deck anyways. Hell, I think the Ace is too good for you people. The King will do nicely.

Trust me, NONE of you, not the Sec3s or 2s or even the Sec4s for that matter have EVER seen who I really am. If at any point I have to do the big Revert, a storm is the least of your worries.

"The endless dream filled with masks and shrouded faces, may not be as neverending as I thought" -Clover's Ace

Unknown

2008-05-07T19:47:00.002+08:00

Wake up...
wake up...
wake up...
Wake up!
WAKE UP!

See that, the butterfly...

The world dissapears...

The world dissapears...

What darkness took...

Return to me...

Reinforcement

2008-04-24T21:47:00.002+08:00

If change is to occur, we must first start with a single step. Do not expect everything to go your way just because it's right. If you guys give up, fine by me. Go ahead, I won't stop you. But just to let you ALL know, I'm staying. Yes Sec4s, I'm referring to you guys. It's some of you readers out there. I don't care if I have to study overtime, I'll make time. I don't care if I have so much hope on my shoulder that I can barely walk, I'll crawl.

Naufal, add me ASAP. I need to have a word with you. soul_caliburcomplete@hotmail.com

"I'll change the world, one stepping-stone at a time." -Clover's Ace

Missing

2008-04-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

Missed the RI campfire since I was sick. Sad. Everyone said it was great. I'm never gonna hear the end of this.

Change Again

2008-04-18T21:49:00.002+08:00

People change, it's normal. But when changes affects not only them, but also the people around them, it gets complicated. I'm worried for my friends for I do not remember who they are when I talk to them. It's like they're not the same person. Trouble's afoot and I can just feel it. It's just, are we ready for it?

"To live is the absolute goal of all man. To live for others is the goal of all boys." -Clover Seven

Holding on

2008-04-12T22:12:00.001+08:00

I'm tired, I'm really sick and tired of all this. Everybody think it's that simple, well, it's not.

My teachers think I'm just rebellious and disrespectful, I'm not, it's not that simple. They never tried to know me but always assumed they do. It's stupid.

My sister thinks my stories are just that, words. She doesn't know how much I put into them and insults it like nobody's buisness. It hurts a lot.

My dad thinks I'm lazy, not knowing how much pressure everything has put on me. He expect me to do what he wants to. I won't.

Mr. Song, thinking I'm just another teen, judging before he thinks. It's not easy.

Miss Pang, what she did shocked me. She use others for her lie, damaging what sanity I had left, just so she could get her way. All the sec 3s banned me from the den? I've asked, they didn't. She did. This is called betrayal.

And my friends, they're always here and there, busy with this and that. My mom, even busier. I'm tired. It's been over what, eight, nine years now maybe? My mind is a wreck, my heart is in a mess and I'm more physically tired than I look. Everything I am, everything I'm not, it's infuriating me more and more.

No talent, no future, no hopes, no dreams, those are the words put into me by teachers, my dad, my rivals, my past, my present and everyone else in one way or another. I'm on the brink of total and complete breakdown like no one else have ever seen me before and what scares me the most is that this time, I'll have total control over my actions. I've been punished for wrongs I did, never do, would have done, did before and never would have. A way to push the blame on me I guess, ease up others stress. I said I would take everyone's pain, I never said their stress.

It's sad really, knowing I have the power to destroy everything and everyone that gets in my way, but at the same time, being sensible enough to control, to never let that happen and yet get punished for it, for protecting others.

I miss them, those friends of mine, where are they now? We've changed so much, I'm sick of this kind of change. When I said I would change the world, this is not what I meant. Where are you guys? I can't find you... am I lost... or maybe... you're lost...?

"Emotions are a great source of strength. But when let loose, it becomes a great weakness."
-The Seven Clover

---So, can I throw my emotions away then?---

---Will everything dissapear?---

---All this pain, all this sadness,---

---They'll fade away with my death which may come soon.---

Tense

2008-04-07T22:24:00.002+08:00

I need to relax, seriously. I just beat up the game I was playing so badly that I was sweating buckets and have to take a shower. That is some serious way of redirecting anger right there. Feel like writing a quicky* here so I'm just gonna go and do it.

The lies said stings the truth,
for the lies have become the truth.
When the discort of reality sounds,
the cries of pain and suffering too sounds.
The heart beats millions,
but death chases in millions.
As one is born,
two shall die.
Just as when light is born,
darkness die.

"Is sanity the price to pay, for power!" -Dante, Devil May Cry 4

*-quicky is just a quick random piece of writing I decide to do on the spot, get use to it.

Stepping down

2008-03-30T22:23:00.002+08:00

Ok...every other sec 4 scouts with a blog (except Joel since he doesn't update for nuts) has written one of these stepping down post so...I thought I should too. So um...should I say something encouraging or something? Um...yeah, I think I should.

Right, good luck guys and gals, if you mess up, your dead (especially Naufal but he's gonna die anyway). And I'll definetely be dropping by from time to time, even if you don't like it cause I'm an ass.

Yeah, that's about as encouraging as I can get.

Meeting

2008-03-29T21:24:00.002+08:00

Met up with my old friend (not old as in age old but old as in long time old) Stephanie today. It was definetely a enjoyable time, talking about good times of past, weird school experiences and the unexpected things to come. Hope after graduating, I could keep on going like this with her and the rest of my friends I've made. It's something I can work to for sure.

The decision

2008-03-19T18:35:00.003+08:00

Damn it, I'm really pissed. I wish I could just turn back time to who knows how many years back just to make everything right again. I've made many people around me suffer for my suffering and that's just ain't right. I wish I could do more for them but I can't. Maybe one day when I have the time, I'll go over to the park and pick four leaf clovers, one for each of my close friends.

People says I'm too nice. Am I? I'm not sure but it can't be bad to be good. Still, I may be too good for my own good. Example, being scolded fr doing the right thing is not fair. Being scolded for doing the right thing for other people is also not fair. But to my teachers, they seem to be fair. I'm very sick of this and if they don't stop, they might never see this moron again and might be facing another moron with much more attitude.

The Name

2008-03-09T11:32:00.002+08:00

I'm back from camp since I got sick half way. I wanted to help more but I'm not sure if my body can keep up with me anymore. I'm lost now, I've already forgotten, who am I?

Absolution

2008-02-24T22:09:00.005+08:00

Of all the people whom I've met in my life, of all of them who have inspired me, excluding my kindergarden friends, these six have made a great impact in my life.

Nick Kent: My sensei, mentor and friend. He is a writer whom I've met quite by accident a few years back. At first, I was reluctant to further ties with him as he is queer (gay for all you queer haters out there). But over time, I found out he was a realy great guy who have great expectaions of me. I have no intention of letting him down. His physical condition is not in an all time high and being queer has have a impact on him. But he doesn't let any of these things get to him and I am very proud to call him sensei. He is currently working on a film and he has introduced me to many of his friends and students. Akiyoshi, Rashi, Justin, Ryosuke and Mirai has all shown me how big the world is and I am eternally greatful.

Angeline Tan: She is my primary six teacher and she was the one who told me never to give up. Like Nick sensei, she has high hopes for me. She gave me the book which started out my whole journey as a writer, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. In it, there lays a card which I kept till today in my wallet as a reminder of what she have done for me and how much it meant to me. Still teaching back at the school and I wish her a good life and hopes I'll meet her again someday.

Ryan Kooi Wei Rong: A primary school friend of mine who was the first to reach out to me, whether he knew it or not. He was the one who pulled me out of the darkness of the well and even now, remained a friend. Even if one day I forget what you look like and what was your name, I'll always remember I had a friend in that someone at the back of my mind. He is currently working hard for his Os and I wish him the best of luck.

Tan Shi Yun: Similarly, she's a primary school friend of mine who was the first to not mind what I looked like back then. She was kind and friendly and she always refered to herself as "on the same boat as me" and even at times, she would stand up for me when no one else would. She had her ups and downs and had, like me, people who hated her but everytime I saw her, she was smiling and when she's sad, she'll try to hide it. I thank her for bringing me to see the sky and teaching me how to smile even when I'm sad so as to not make others around me miserable. She's living life out in her secondary school now and I hope she can meet those great friends she deserves to have from the start.

Stephanie or Ah Qi to me: My longest childhood friend. I've known her since I was a little kid. She's like a big sister to me and I can't express how great it is to know her. Even though everytime I meet her, our conversation topic may not change, it never gets dull. She may not know it but she's the one who put the dream of becoming a writer in my head in the first place. Like all of us, she is currently studying for her exams right now and I won't wish her luck for I KNOW she can do it. That's just the kind of person she is.

Benjamin Lee: Suprise? You should be for I am too. I'll admit, I've accused him, insulted him and even bore a grudge against him in the past but after a while, when you start to really get to know a person, you'll find some...interesting things. Turns out he's not so different from me at all. In fact, we're pretty much alike, whether we know it or not. Thanks to him, I can finally get control over another of my emotions and he even gave me many ideas for my upcoming story which I'll get to later on and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Absolution

Now, as all of you may already know by now, I am a writer. Absolution, is going to be the first, non-fanfic story of a trilogy I'm working on. Seven being the second part and Hymns, the third. My goal is to have these published as books when they're done and I want to thank everyone mentioned above and all those who I have not mentioned all the same. Benjamin, I may not be able to make up for all the things I've did and said to you before, but I can sure hell make new and better things in the future. So here, a little sneak preview if you will, first page of the prologue to Absolution...

Prologue: And the Guns Shall Sing

15th March 2025

The sun set on the horizon as the Chinese man ran across the empty streets. Behind him, a small five man squad of riflemen slowly closed in. Clad in dark forest green uniform and carrying heavy backpacks, the soldiers proudly bore the symbol of west, a sole eagle flying towards a star on their shoulders.

The houses which decorated the now empty streets shut their windows as the chase pass by. If it were like it was in the past, the citizens would have curiously peeked out of their sanctuary to see the event unfold. But of course, those were days long gone.

On 23rd February 2024, the countries of the west declared separation from the east after a long year filled with racial riots, heated debates and several assassination attempts on high ranking easterners’ officials, leading to the decision. Those who were not born in the west are to return to their homeland, wherever it may be and those who remained suffered ill treatment from the newly empowered Senate of the West ran by Theodore Hyde. Hyde bribed multiple voters into aiding him and captures the attention of the already weakened will of the nations with promises of getting rid of immigrants and foreigners from the land they claimed their own. The people bought it to the end.

Jun Han is an informer for a resistance group set up under major western cities. He clutched a small piece of parchment in his right hand tightly, streaking past a red light of an empty junction, breathing heavier as each steps leads him closer to the safe house. He knew the rules though. To enter, he must lose his pursuers and to do that, he needs to play on his street.

Turning into an alley and slingshot himself over a rail, climbed onto a nearby dumpster and hurl his already tired body over the last obstacle, a four meter high fence. Though he landed on his feet, the impact of the fall causes him to kneel. Gathering the remainder of his strength, Jun Han pushes himself to stand.

The riflemen caught up to him but had trouble getting over the fence. Jun Han gave a cocky smile before continued on with his escape. Once he heard the rifles click, he made a mad dash for the streets. With a final push, Jun Han grabbed onto a lamp post and swung himself behind the safety of a building as flashes of bullets flew pass where he stood just seconds ago.

With a sigh, the informer heaved a manhole cover from the sidewalk and jumped in. Following the terrible smelling path made for workers and the likes, Jun Han journeyed left and arrived at a small metal door, rusted at the sides from around a two minutes walk from the manhole.
The entrance creaked opened and the cool blast of an air-conditioned room hit him carried along its wave are sweet sounds of Japanese soft rock. Leaving the putrid smell of the tunnel, he entered the sanctuary of the resistance.

“You made it!” Shouted one of two middle aged Malay man sitting around a circular table placed in the centre of the room with the other about to give out the poker cards he was dealing.

The five-by-five meters room was newly painted to the color of light brown though certain areas of the wall retain the grey of the concrete. A double-decker bed laid on the far right from the door and a couch at the end. A weapon rack leaned against the wall on the left with standard issue rifles stolen from soldiers. Four M16B3s stacked neatly in a line.

The M16-3Bs are an improved version of the past M16A2 with a double barrel used by most Western soldiers those days. It can be switched to fire two bullets simultaneously or in successions with twice the rate of fire of the M16A2. The designs are practically similar aside from the double barrel and a retractable knife on the left side of the left barrel. A door beside the rack led to the power generator for the entire block of the street which also doubles as a provision room with enough food to last for at least three months.

“Yeah, I nearly got caught though.” Jun Han closed the door behind him.

A Japanese woman got switched from a lying position on the couch to a sitting one. “Just glad you weren’t, especially with that info on you hands.” A pinch of Japanese accent flowed through her voice.

“I’ll tell you this,” Jun Han fell back on the lower bunk of the bed, waving the piece of parchment he held in his hands high up in the air. “with this, the war is ours for sure.”

The fighters cheered in agreement...............

Wreck

2008-02-24T21:45:00.003+08:00

Sickening, tiring, devastating or whatever you want to call it, I don't care. I've been having the worst week of the year and it happens every year after my birthday. I just want to leave all the noise, the pain and the troubles and just go to some nice windy beach with my friends.

Of all the pictures in my room, this is the one which I value the most. It is a picture of my graduation from Good Hand Child Care, my kindergarden. This picture is shows perhaps the most important time in my life as it is the crossing of me from a carefree individual to the emotional wreck some may know me for today. The three boys in the front row are also perhaps the people who made the largest impact in my life and I'll never forget them. From left to right: Guo Yang, Benjamin and Terry (They're not related by the way.).

B-Day

2008-02-19T18:14:00.002+08:00

I can't remember the last time I had a birthday without crying. My dad, he's still as blind a ever. Quantity is never going to replace quality. Wish that some people in my life could see that they are making people suffer over their little delusion. I'm starting to grow white hair damn it. I haven't had these since primary school. I'm not looking for trouble, trouble came for me. I just want to run with my family, my friend, myself and maybe even with her. Just keep on running, towards that sky which we can't reach. Just keep running, and oneday, I know, we'll grasp it.

You know, the thing about my room is, it reflects me so well. It's messy, yet I find peace. Like the compicated life I live and how I find those small moments of joy every now and then. And outside my window is a 8 story condominium. And I live on the second floor. That means, I barely get sun and I could never see anything other than the walls. But you know what's amazing? When it rains and the sun is still in the air, if at the correct moment, a small rainbow forms right outside my window. And at night, if the moon is postioned right, it feels as if you could almost grasp it with your bare hands. The small gaps of joys in my life, reflected in these things. In my story, my past, my friends, my room, my family, my smile, my words, my voice and my personality.

A teacher of mine once said, "Stop running away from things, face it like a man!". I didn't know what to say back then but now I do.

"You're wrong, if I stop running, I'll never catch it." -Ng Jun Xiang

Love for You

2008-02-18T21:44:00.002+08:00

So I like her, is that wrong? So I have the whole see don't touch policy, is that wrong as well? I told myself my emotions are dangerous, over and over again yet, a part of me is willing to risk it all to have her but the other part is saying it's too risky. What should I do? I'm lost once again.

2008-02-14T22:54:00.003+08:00

Typical Singaporeans

Aden: Hello people and welcome to Typical Singaporeans...again. Today we have with us, Gabriel and Gabriel.

Gabriel: Wassup!

Gabriel: Yo!

Aden: ...

Gabriel: What's wrong?

Aden: I can't tell who's who.

Gabriel: (Looks at text.) Hm...

Gabriel: Why don't we try that again?

Aden: Right. (Dramatic pause) Ok people, welcome to Typical Singaporeans. Today with us, we have, Gabriel Wee,

Wee: Yo!

Aden: And Gabriel Loh!

Loh: Wassup!

Aden: For those who are new to this, let me start with a little recap. Typical Singaporeans is a text-based talk show where I and special guests, whether with their consent or not, talks about the habits of Singaporeans.

Wee: Like smoking.

Loh: And speeding.

Wee: Peeing in lifts.

Loh: Gambling.

Wee: Attitude problem.

Loh: And speeding.

Wee: You said speeding twice.

Aden: OK! WE GET IT! Now then, this show have not much viewers but as a writer, I shall carry on. (Clears throat.) For today's topic, we shall talk about gangster. Personally, I find Singapore to be lacking in quality gangsters these days. Do you guys agree?

Loh: Yes ogre- I mean Aden, most Singaporean gansters are weak and cowardly. Their style of fighting is you push me, I push you back, I scold, you scold, we scold back.

Wee: Huhuhu, that sounds stupid.

Aden: What's wrong with him?

Loh: Nothing, he always laugh like that.

Wee: Fuck you la, I where got laugh like that?

Aden: Hey! No vulgarities on this show. Don't make me scold you by not scolding you but in fact I'm scolding you by scolding your mom!

Wee: What?

Loh: He scolding your mom.

Wee: What the hell!

Aden: OK! Now, let's get back to buisness. So then, for the SMALL numbers of gangs in Singapore which citizens always complain about, what would you do if you have the power to solve them?

Wee: Round them up with police la!

Aden: Mutter* Typical

Loh: Singapore Police also no use one. Everytime all they do is see don't touch, touch don't see. See and touch, give ticket.

Aden: True. Singapore Police ARE useless.

Wee: Except for special cases.

Aden: Like?

Wee: ...

Loh: Well?

Wee: I'll get back to you on that one.

Aden: Sigh* Well, that's all the time with have for today.

Wee and Loh: TONIGHT!

Aden: Right, tonight. Next time, we shall talk about the new policies set up by MOE.

Loh: You very excited about this hor.

Aden: (Big smile) Well,

Everyone: Bye!

2008-02-13T21:59:00.002+08:00

V-day emptiness. Now, one would think I'd have gotten used to this after 16 dateless years......no this is just sad.

2008-02-11T21:02:00.001+08:00

Urban ExTreme has unofficially officially started. You can see me jumping around after school more often now, making a fool and falling, injuring myself at the same time. Hooray!

2008-02-10T17:06:00.000+08:00

Singaporeans are getting worst and worst lately man. Seriously, it's making me sick. After seeing my family on my father's side, I feel like giving up all hope in humanity. Almost every single one of them are greedy to the core, their sarcasm sinks deeper than the depts of an endless abyss. Everyday I see people walking by, thinking only of themselves and when things go wrong, they never take one look in the mirror. They always seem to find it easier just to blame others. I'll amit I'm not perfect, but I try. And I also know some of my friends have been asking certain teachers to go easy on me for quite a while now and I thank you. But please, stop it. It's not that I don't need it, I just want to do it myself. It's one of those DIY thing.

And for people who have been reading my stories, I thank you but would really appreciate it if you could just leave a simple review. It may not look much but a single review goes a long way to push us writers, no matter how short it is. Most of us don't even know is anyone is reading the story or not and tends to get very disheartened when we get no reviews. This applies to me as well. It really helps us when we know someone out there is reading the story and it helps us put even more of our hearts into every chapter.

2008-02-09T09:09:00.000+08:00

My tagbox have recently become the outlet of childhood deprived, dumped by girlfriend and emos wannabe outlet for letting out their feelings. Kinda annoying really once they start bringing up personal stuff about ME.

2008-02-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

I've decided to roll a dice seven times to see who guest star next.

The options
1-Mark Ong
2-Mark Leong 1 rolls
3-Gabriel Loh 1 rolls
4-Gabriel Wee 1 rolls
5-Both Marks 2 rolls
6-Both Gabriels 2 rolls

and the result is...
a tie of two rolls at five and six! Since Mark Ong didn't get no role, the winner is "BOTH GABRIELS!"

2008-02-03T21:58:00.000+08:00

So who should I invite to co-host the next Typical Singaporean?

Mark Ong and Mark Leong?

or

Gabriel Loh and Gabriel Wee?

2008-01-30T17:42:00.000+08:00

I did some Wikiing and found out that Parkour and Free Running are TOTALLY different things. Imagine that! Parkour is a sport which one finds the quickest way to get over obstacles and the people doing that are called Traceur. It is limited to the amount of moves one can make as most Traceur only does stuff like jumps, grabs, vaults and the more known Tic-Tac. Free Running however, though follows some basics of Parkour, has a huge difference between them. Free Runners, tries to get past obstacles in a FLUENT way. A Runner can flip, spin or even sault if they want to but it still means getting past an obstacle. There is another sports called Tricking. One who practices these are usually called Trickster or Tricker. It's more of an extreme breakdance which is influent by many types of martial arts move such as the 540 kick from Taekwondo, butterfly twist from Wushu and double leg from Capoeira. I do shits like these too but I have no idea what to classify them by. I just do tricks with no intention of overcoming an obstacle but just for the fun of it. Usually on the spot for no apparent reason. Its like a combination of basic gymnastics, Free Running and rollerblading tricks. I've even made some shitty move called Figure Four Vault Hang where I just stop mid rail during a vault, supported by my LEFT hand and RIGHT leg which is positioned in a four.

2008-01-28T21:42:00.000+08:00

Typical Singaporeans

Aden: Hellow guys and welcome back to TYPICAL SINGAPOREANS! For today's guest, we have Ong Cheng Hong, a personal friend of mine from school

Ong: WASSUP!

Aden: He practically knelt down and beg me to let him do this thing today.

Ong: No lor,you ask if I want or not one leh!

Aden: And out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to invide him today.

Ong: Oi! You listening not!?

Aden: And later, he's gonna treat me lunch.

Ong: When did I say that!? You're not listening to me!

Aden: And get me a new bag...

Ong: (Stands up and walk out of the room)

Aden: and a new video game...

Ong: (Come back in with a hammer)

Aden: and maybe even help me get a date! (Turns around to look at Cheng Hong) What are you doing?

Ong: (Smack him on the head, knocking Aden out cold)

Aden: Urgh...

Ong: Ok, today we're going to talk about lors. (Sees Syazwan walking pass.) Hey Syazwan, come here!

Wan: Me? What for?

Ong: Co-host la!

Wan: Um...ok. (steps over Aden's body.) So...what's the topic.

Ong: Lors.

Wan: Don't you mean laws?

Ong: Ai ya, all the same one la.

Wan: Whatever you say.

Ong: OKAAAY! Old Singaporeants is the type to just follow lor one. So, all the of us is a bit gong gong one. People say jump, we ask, "jump what?".

Wan: Isn't things a little different now?

Ong: Yes! The youngest the people is now all "Fa-ke-ne" and "CHEE BAI" everytime you try to get them to do things. And is because of this, we get weak people who act big one like Wai Chuan. (Looks over at WC who is tied to the flagpole, bound and gagged.)

Wan: Now that's just cool.

Ong: Of COURSE! I am the AH HONG what.

Aden: (Stands up behind Cheng Hong with a bamboo stick)

Wan: Um... Cheng Hong?

Ong: Wait la, now where was I? Oh yes, I was always bullied in primary school now I come Secondary school become bul- (Got knocked over the head by Aden.)

Aden: Asshole.

Wan: ......

Aden: (Looks at the camera and smile.) Next time on Typical Singaporeans, we are going to talk about gangsters. (Elbow Syazwan)

Wan: Ow! Oh, thanks for reading!

2008-01-27T20:44:00.001+08:00

Gotta tell me if the new skin is good or not.

2008-01-27T19:55:00.000+08:00

I've just finished Assasin's Creed. No, it is not a band but a game. The gameplay is around 6/10 but everything else is more or less perfect axcept the fact that it was WAY too short. After playing that game, I've completely lost all faith in humanity, not that I have alot to begin with. Thanks UBIsoft! Time to study until DMC4 comes out. Expect me to totally ignore everything you say and act completely weird when that happens.

2008-01-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

Have you ever had someone tells you not to pretend you're all knowing and the next second, says he or she knows all about you? Someone who says will admit their mistakes when they've done wrong but immediately blames it on someone else once the deed is done? Someone, who says they'e done nothing wrong and their concious is clear even though their action is darker than mud? Well, I have.

If someone tells you that I am carefree, I have a prefect family, I'm easygoing or even says I'm happy, someone lied.

On a side note, the story of Seven have been removed off my blog as it is too large to fit here, seriously.

2008-01-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

Typical Singaporeans

Aden: Okay guys, today we're gonna talk about typical Singaporeans and the problems with them. I don't count since I've been told I don't act like Singaporeans.

Shou: Are you sure about that? You act pretty much like Singaporeans to me.

Aden: No I don't. Have you not read all my proper English post before this? By the way, allow me to introduce today's guest, Shou Kenta from my fanfic, Lost Regalia.

Shou: Yeah, I took time off to do this shit so you guys better go read and review the story.

Aden: Ok, first thing on the list is, traffic accident.

Shou: I always wondered about that.

Aden: About what?

Shou: How is it people can crash when they're going at what, fourty, fifty kilometers an hour?

Aden: I'm glad that you ask Shou old chum. The thing is, Sinaporeans are always rushing because our schedules are always so tight. The place is so small that it takes barely half an hour to get from one end of the country to the other and thus, we can afford to squeeze in so may things in one day. Of course, typical Singaporeans can't manage time properly so they tend to follow the rest of the world and start rushing here and there.

Shou: Understandable and don't call me old chum. But still, there's quite a lot of accidents out there.

Aden: Yeah, Singaporeans also tend to speed since they don't have much excitement in their lives. Increasing speed from 40km/h to 120km/h in five seconds just to beat the light CAN and WILL kill you which brings us to our second topic for the day, laws.

Shou: Technically, it's night time right now.

Aden: Whatever.

Shou: HA! There, a typical Singaporean word.

Aden: Actually, 'whatever' came from the Americans.

Shou: Really?!

Aden: Really, now stop that, we're getting off topic.

Shou: Right, sorry. As you were saying?

Aden: Clears throat* The topic is now law which...will be covered next time.

Shou: Awww.........

the truth of tale

2008-01-18T20:58:00.000+08:00

I may laugh a lot, I may not give a damn about what you say to me, I may not care if you disturb me, or if you mock me, even if you beat me to an inch of my life. But there are times where you should know the difference between the line of sanity and that of the insane. My emotions, burns away at my soul, eating away my humanity. The things others chose for me, takes a toll on my heart. I may seem good and all on the outside, and maybe I am, but inside, I'm dying. My feelings and emotions, Memories, Happiness, Anger, Sadness, Perfection, Pain and Hatred, will eat me alive.

"I did not choose this life, this life chose me."-N.J.X

Chap two

2008-01-10T22:11:00.000+08:00

Chapter Two: The Gaps of Silence

Ryo left the town of Likia with a new found partner, Tanya, a travelling Healer and begin heading for his next destination. To the south, there is a castle. The people calls it a castle, but it was more of a fort. With stone walls towering over the buildings inside, casting shadows on the people who seek protection with the help of thousands of soilders, Zen Castle is a near inpenetrable place.

They set up camp in a small clearings, close to the main path but hidden enough to avoid bandits. Both sat around the campfire, silent with a blank look in their eyes. The fire crackled and shadow dance within the lighted areas of the trees.

Tanya had her hands balled up and is staring at them intensively while Ryo watch the fire dance above the sounds of cracking wood.

"So Ryo, where are you from?" Tanya said after a long period.

"I'm a Hymn, an outcast. I can't remember where I was from." Ryo replied so quickly and casually as if he was prepared and awaiting that question.

"I see..."

Silence took them again. An owl hoot in the distance while a wolf howl could be made out over the sound of the cricket.

"What bout' you?" This time, Ryo was the one who spoke.

"Me?" Tanya was unprepared, unlike Ryo. "W-Well, I'm from... I'm from- I'm sorry Ryo, I just don't feel comfortable saying it."

"Sure, ok."

The silent was mutually shared and both gaze up at the sky. By mere coincidence has these two gathered and they found out they have much similarities though barely any words were spoken. Both were outcast with what could be a complicated past. Such communication, is the gap between silence.

2008-01-08T19:21:00.000+08:00

So, bad day. Miss Hong has totally given up on me since she thinks she's a know it all and knows what I'm thinking even though she don't. Doesn't really matter. Just gotta work harder myself. But I just have to finish my games and as much story as I can before March or I won't be able to concentrate on my studies.

2008-01-01T21:45:00.000+08:00

When I'm young,

I always ask myself,

what do I really want for my life?

Now that I've found it,

it's so out of reach.

But I will fight for it!

"I'll show you, I'll show the world, I'll show the universe how I shine..." -Ng Jun Xiang

Loser

2008-01-01T12:05:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year guys. I wanted to do a chapter for Lost Regalia on New Year but I realised, I forgot about my homework...again...yeah. So um...I'll make up for it during the next um...holiday which I can make into a chapter (checks calender)...V-Day huh...

Sigh*

Oh well. I'm a loser/nerd/asshole/retard. What do you expect.

Twelve days of Air Gear

2007-12-24T22:29:00.000+08:00

TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS, AIR GEAR STYLE! (To fully understand this, watch Air Gear and read mine and JamJack's story.)

On the first day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Ikki with a panty

On the second day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the third day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the forth day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the fifth day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Shou's white hoody (must drag,"Shoooooou's white hooooodyyyyy".)
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the sixth day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Akito in my bed
Shou's white hoody
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the seventh day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Ringo try to study
Akito in my bed
Shou's white hoody
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the eighth day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Kazu acting cool
Ringo try to study
Akito in my bed
Shou's white hoody
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the ninth day of Chistmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Onigiri stinks
Kazu acting cool
Ringo try to study
Akito in my bed
Shou's white hoody
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the tenth day of Chistmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Buccha eating Kuu
Onigiri stinks
Kazu acting cool
Ringo try to study
Akito in my bed
Shou's white hoody
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the eleventh day of Christmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Agito being kind
Buccha eating Kuu
Onigiri stinks
Kazu acting cool
Ringo try to study
Akito in my bed
Shou's white hoody
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

On the last day of Chrsitmas Oh! Great gave to me,
Rika cooking meat
Agito being kind
Buccha eating Kuu
Onigiri stinks
Kazu acting cool
Ringo try to study
Akito in my bed
Shou's white hoody
Ume sewing dolls
Mikan piledriving
Arnold in the dust
and Ikki with a panty

2007-12-22T19:27:00.001+08:00

If people still doesn't know, I have links to stories I've posted and stories my friend posted on the right in the "link" section.

2007-12-21T20:07:00.000+08:00

Singapore is in more trouble than you think. Unless everyone wakes up from the impression everyone in the government is good and hardworking people, Singapore will most surely fall. We're relying on the government for so much that we sometimes refuses to do things for ourselves. If this keeps up, nothing will ever change.

2007-12-17T17:02:00.000+08:00

I'm going totally nuts for AirGear!!!

2007-12-14T18:48:00.000+08:00

I lost my phone...again. That sucks. Anyone has any comment on what model I should buy?

2007-12-13T19:34:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna say this once and only once and I'm gonna use extra large letters so even morons can read it.

NOBODY OWNS ME, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DO!!!

That is all.

Test

2007-12-11T12:26:00.000+08:00

Wow, no one passed the friendship test. I guessed I overkilled it with the questions a little huh. I mean, eyeballs. And Eunice, I got you linked. Chapter two of Seven will be up next week.